fresh_melody

I know this is my second post in like five minutes but I needed to get this off my chest!

Here goes! My mom and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. I was spoiled growing up with any of the clothes or shoes I wanted. I new I would have whatever car I wanted. I never had to worry about paying for things that most of my friends had to pay for. I was blessed growing up and I new it. But there was a catch, along with all the material things she threw at me (which is VERY appealing to a teenage girl) she had complete control over me and my life. Up until about 6-8 months she still had control over me. At 18, my then boyfriend now husband, and I bought our own home. We were out on our own and paying our own way. For the first time in my life, I was making my own decisions instead of having her make them for me!

That wasn't good enough for her. She would take me shopping and spend all kinds of money on me and my son. She bought me a van for my 19th birthday and a brand new Kia Rio six months later. Very expensive gifts that I accepted b/c I was young and stupid.

Last Spring, My mom convinced me to sell my house and move into a house she had been renting. She said that she wouldn't charge us to stay there, that we would have a little financial freedom which sounded good at the time. We also decided it would be a good time to have our second child since we had a little extra money.

Now... a year later, she says she is kicking us out of the house, and not helping babysit the kids so we can work anymore because she has left my step-dad and has a new boyfriend and without that extra income, she needs the money from THIS house!

I'm PISSED! We had a place to live, OUR PLACE. We only moved down here b/c SHE wanted to help! Now she doesn't and I'm not working, and CAN'T work b/c I don't have a babysitter anymore, so we don't have the extra income so we can't afford ANOTHER house!

She also says that she doesn't love Ethan and that she never will. It isn't her fault that my sister and I keep "popping" out kids. BTW... I have two... she has FOUR! Also, I take care of my kids, my sister doesn't! Either way, that's my son she's talking about! MY LIFE! I'm heart-broken.

Conclusion, Little Bobby isn't allowed to see her either. I don't know who she has become and I don't understand why she doesn't love my youngest son but I can't have him feeling like he is left out just because she is having a mid-life crisis! So now, I'm not accepting her gift (b/c I've grown up and realized that life is better without all of those "things") and she has no control over my family anymore. This is driving her nuts!

We haven't spoken in almost 4 weeks! A whole month of my childrens life that she has missed out on. Including Bobby's first day of school and Ethan rolling over! I'm so sad!

I don't think I'll ever look at my mother the same. I would be just fine if I never even saw her again! I just wish I didn't have to live in this house, it's just one more way she has control!

okay I'm done... for now!

Okay, you have to give me a minute while I pull my foot out of my mouth! I go to the high school today to take up for Tonya (Varsity Coach) when I find out that SHE LIED TO ME! Everything that I thought the girls made up... it was ALL TRUE! I feel like screaming! She has been fired, and rightfully so. Some of the things she did were inappropriate when you are talking to teenagers. Hell, some of the things she did, I wouldn't want any part of!

She doesn't want me to take over the squad but it's a good opportunity for me! She's a friend of mine and has been for years but she lied to me and I feel betrayed!

Plus side! Dr. Phoenix (principal) said this when asked about me by the parents, and I quote, "She's a class act, she is exactly what we need!" I'm flatter, especially since he didn't like me when I was in school because I was always in trouble! He told me that I was wise beyond my years. I guess it's a compliment but it might be just because he wants me to pick up the slack left by the other coach!

I don't know what I'm going to do! Do I go against my life-long friend and risk ruining our friendship? Or do I take this opportunity and run with it. I've put in the hard work without all the scandal, shouldn't I get some recognition?

Side notes: Sam---Tonya (Royer) Merica. She was a senior when we were freshman.

BtN friends... Sorry if I post this there too! I'm just freaking out a little!

ERRRRR.... I'm so angry! Today, I get a call from the other cheerleading coach at the high school and find out that she has been fired! Some of the girls parents went in and told the athletic director that the coach was giving "sex advice" and telling the girls "what to do with their man!" I'm disgusted. I don't know if it's true! I can't believe that it is because I know this girl but she can't prove that she didn't say it and the school is going nuts b/c they don't want the parents angry!

After MY practice today, the principal, VP, and Athletic director were standing outside the gym saying that there might not be a cheerleading program anymore b/c of this! My girls didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't be punished. I don't want these girls making up stories about me and getting me fired though!

I guess I should be glad, I don't have a babysitter anymore so I have to drag my kids to practice and games with me and they hate it! But it just makes me mad that they are stooping so low! I've known this girl my whole life and I don't like that they are treating her this way!!!
I don't know what to do! The other coach thinks I should quit before they start to do the same thing to me!

I hate drama!

I'm thinking about leaving. I don't know where I'll go but I feel like I can't stay here. I feel like I'm under my mothers control living here. I hate having everyone know my business like they do here in this little town. Everyone questions my every move. I don't think that's right, I love my family and my life is all about my boys but my family thinks I'm strange because I've chosen to stay at home. I get weird looks for breastfeeding my son. Everything I choose for my kids, the things I think are best for them, I get a hard time for! Bobby doesn't want to leave right now. He's liking his job right now and he thinks he needs more experience before he can just up and leave. He also wants me to be working which I'm not going to do right now b/c I am staying home with the baby. He thinks we need two incomes before we move but we've been with only one income before and we were fine!

I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll go back to school next year like we planned and just stay here where I live now. I really want to leave though!

vent vent vent

I'm done!

Don't search for reasons that don't exist.
Don't sing a song that doesn't have a melody.
Don't speak a language that no one understands.
Don't put up a wall that no one can knock down.
Don't ask questions that don't have answers.
Don't think thoughts that only make you cry.
Don't do things you'll only live to regret.
Don't pretend to listen when I talk.
Don't open your heart when no one is around to see it.
Don't fall in love with the unavailable.
Don't dwell on the past when you can do nothing to change it.
Don't say you love me if it isn't true.
Don't pretend that all is lost.
Don't say that this is the end.

Just writing so that everyone knows a little something about me. I'm a Mommy and that comes first in my life. They are both boys, so my days are filled with playing baseball, riding ATVs, tackle football, and reading Bob the Builder books.

I coach cheerleading. I love coaching, it allows me to have a positive influence on 'todays youth!' I like to say that "I'm a cheerleader for them!"

I plan on starting school agan next fall. I am actually only one class away from having my associates degree, but I can't take community college anymore! Instead, I'm following in my husbands footsteps and going to school for my LPN. Who knows how that will go!

oh yeah, and I'm here because of Sam... who I admire greatly, and I can't wait to see again... it's been too long!